Once a couple and the families decide to tie the knot, what first comes along is an engagement. It is a very important pitstop on the road to marriage. Every culture, more or less, does have an engagement ritual – a stepping stone to matrimony. It is a bridge from singlehood to couple-hood; a facilitation of transition from bachelor/bachelorette’s life to a life of a spouse. Engagement should ideally prepare you for co-habitation with your soulmate.
Engagement is also an official announcement to the world that the soulmates are preparing for nuptials. It is an informal pact between two persons and two families – sealed by exchange of rings or cultural symbols like coconut, sweets, and a token cash amount.
You might be wondering how is an engagement so important? Or, is it really necessary to get engaged before marriage? What happens if you don’t? Can’t a couple directly get married? Here, we have tried to put together a few answers and a few perspectives for you to ponder upon. Read on.
Get Soulmates to Know Each Other Better
Engagement is a very crucial time, especially for the couples who are going for the arranged marriage. Since they do not know each other very well, this time after engagement and before marriage can be effectively used to get to know each other.
Even for those opting for love marriage, engagement is important because for these soulmates too, they need to know each other well as spouses. Life during the dating phase is very different from the married life and hence adapting to one’s partner and seeing him/her as a spouse is a very different ball game.
Engagement thus gives you ample time to read in depth your partner. Know him/her well, understand him/her better and know his/her likes and dislikes; what clicks and shuts him/her off. What can be done to comfort your partner when in distress, how to cheer her when low, how to support when he is weak, how to bring a smile on his face and how to bring solace to her heart can all be learnt in this beautiful period of engagement. Right from her favourite colour to cuisine to holiday destination to film genre – engagement period gives couples an opportunity to know each other inside out. Know one’s preferences and choices.
One must make optimum use of the engagement period in order to spend a blissful life ahead.
Warm-up Period for the Soulmates
In India, one does not get married to a person alone but gets married ‘in a family’. It is not only a marriage between individuals but families and cultures. Rites, rituals, cultural practices play a very dominant role in a wedding.
Also, for a bride to move into the groom’s house – it requires an open mind and ample knowledge of daily routine and practices of the new home, new family. The engagement period helps a woman to understand her new family members and their ways better. It helps her to warm-up to the changes that are going to engulf her life.
For a man and a wife to stay under the same roof and share their every hour together – adjust and tweak their lifestyles, expectations, schedules, finances – it helps to have time together which aids them to anticipate correctly the future that is to come and prepare for the same.
Prep-time for the Wedding
Wedding (usually and preferably) is a once in a lifetime event!
It is very obvious that everyone wants to make it a memorable affair – create memories to cherish for a lifetime. This requires immense amount of preparation. Right from creating a guest list to finalizing the dates for the wedding and pre-wedding ceremonies like sangeet, haldi, mehendi, to booking the venue, finalizing the menu, deciding on the décor, choosing the outfits, preparing for the photoshoots and not to mention personal grooming before the wedding.
Now this can be a tremendously elaborate affair to accomplish alongside the hectic work life.
The couples get time to execute all of this taking their time, after the engagement.
It is a window that gives adequate time and space to the couple to plan their wedding.
Test-drive for the Couples
It is rightly said that you can know a person well only once you start living together. In order to know the partner and his/her family, engagement is the ideal time. As the name suggests, it is an ideal time for one to ‘engage’ with their partner and the family.
One can freely meet, visit, stay with each other during this period. This helps to validate one’s decision of marrying the person chosen. In a few cases, unfortunately, it may even lead to question the decision and rectify it if need be.
Not all relationships will work fine for eternity. Post-engagement, a couple can assess their compatibility closely and see if it will work for them or not. Calling off an engagement in case of compatibility or other issues is easier than a divorce. It is less painful, less traumatizing and is less of a hassle.
So, you see engagement has only a list of pros and no cons at all!
And what more, you get to flaunt your engagement ring and have a stupendous celebration! What’s to lose?